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Because everyone you date is in a mediocre band. And Round Rock?

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And your dealer actually moonlights as a matchmaker. Get ready, because there are a lot of margaritas and Embassy Suites overnighters in your future.

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Maybe some SeaWorld, too. There is no middle ground.

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Tyson Cole is literally the only thing keeping relationships alive. Why would you want to settle down? Ya know, um … at some point.

Sam Sumpter is an Austin writer who is thinking of taking up kickball. Share on Facebook Tweet this article Pin it Email. Share on Facebook Pin it.

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