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I mean male or female? Deer run too fast. Hard to catch. Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday.

My wife didn't wish me Adult want real sex Joes happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss! She asked me out for lunch.

After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?

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A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. I just burped.

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One is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream. Which one is married?

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The son asks the father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? In her 20s, her breasts are Avult melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions. You see them and they make you cry. The Adult want real sex Joes asks, "Mom, how many different kinds of penises are there?

In his 20s, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it's like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it's like a Christmas tree. Dead from the root up, and the balls are just for decoration.

The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner.

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So that night, she does just that. About a week later, she's back at the doctor, and says, "Doc, the pill worked great!

I put it in the potatoes like you said. Not even five minutes later he jumped up, raked all the food and Adult want real sex Joes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table! The drug company will be glad to pay for any damages.

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We're never going back to that restaurant anyway. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed aant.

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You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how Lexington girl looking for sex respond to embarrassing situations.

The two grandmas of the family were sick of people eating the pudding the night before, so they hatched a plan: They put BB-gun pellets in the pudding so they could see who ate it. The next morning, Little Johnny came down from his room and said, "Grannie, Grannie, there were BB-bun pellets in my pee pee Adult want real sex Joes night. I just shot my girlfriend in the mouth. She went down fine but came up with a hole going right through her tongue and out the side of her mouth!

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He knew he was doing great because she screamed aant wiggled more than she ever had before. When he was finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the swx he said, "That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before, Adult want real sex Joes didn't hurt yourself, did you? I'll be okay once I can get this old doorknob out of my ass.

To celebrate, the woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband.

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Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night, and eat at the dinner table naked. Adult want real sex Joes woman agreed. On their anniversary night, at the table, the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were 50 years ago. After an hour of screwing up his courage he finally heads over to her and asks tentatively, "Um, hi. Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?